Over the past year J has been monitoring his blood pressure. High blood pressure runs in his family. We have always known it was borderline high and have made half-ass attempts to keep it down, like not adding salt to anything we cook and exercising occasionally. When J had his annual check-up last year, the doc told him he didn't want to put him on blood pressure medicine because of how young he is, so he would give him a year to make some lifestyle changes and see what progress he had made.

So over the past year J has monitored his blood pressure at home a couple times a week and written it down so there would be a record of the highs and lows. Some days it was ok and some days it was high. Stressful day at work = high, weekend where we get in a hike at our favorite park and cook a nice dinner = low.

Over the last few months, starting around the Thanksgiving holidays and going through Christmas, J's blood pressure went up and never went back down. The true scare came last weekend while we were at my Dad's and his blood pressure reading was really high. Like should we rush him to the emergency room, the man might self destruct.

I tried to calm him down by explaining that everyone had probably eaten too many sausage balls, dips with cream cheese, and drank themselves loose over the holidays. It tis the season. Not to mention, hearing my daily rants over all the things on the Christmas check-off list that must get done and will never happen, could send anyone over the edge. But quietly to myself, I worried as well.

On Monday morning J called the doctor and went in that day. His heart reading at the office was high as well. Our doctor did tell J that since he had seen him last year, he had gained 10 pounds. He also asked J if he had been exercising (raising his heart beat for a minimum of 30 minutes) 4 to 5 days a week. Ummm, no.

He wrote J a prescription and said that he was going to have him take the meds for a month, just to help get his blood pressure back into a normal range. He also wanted him to cut way back on his salt intake and exercise 4 to 5 days a week. In a month if his blood pressure had gone down, he would have him slowly get off the medicine and see if it would stay down with a good diet and daily exercise.

Overall I feel like we eat better than most. I am committed to buying many organic products, we eat lots of vegetables, and we don't eat fast food. We only eat meat occasionally and it is always lean. When J got home that night we went through our pantry and read the labels. Making sense out of food labels is extremely difficult to do.

What we found is that most boxed food items, our weekly frozen pizza, the vegetarian chicken nuggets, salad dressings, even some organic cereals, have a lot of sodium. Especially when your daily intake should be around 1,000 to 1,200 milligrams.

So our diet is going through some reconstruction. My grocery shopping trip took twice as long as it normally does . I was able to find some cereals that are low in sodium, but found it nearly impossible to find any salad dressings that weren't out the roof. I guess we need to start making our own dressings. If you have any recipes, please send them my way.

J made the commitment to change as well. He went to the gym at his work and ran on the treadmill every day this week. This has been a bone of contention with me for years. His company has a gym for their employees, yet he could never find the time to exercise. But I will let that go, I want to be as positive and supportive now as possible.

The motivation to be healthy has always been a murky idea lurking out in the distance, but with roo on the way, it is front and center. With this new life growing, moving, kicking inside me, it brings all those things that we used to be able to push off into the future, glaringly to the present. The time really is NOW, though in reality, it always has been.

All Growed Up

At work I have been one employee short since before the holidays. Since we are a lean mean team of three being down one makes a big difference. Knowing that I will be out on maternity leave in a few months, this is one more item on my to-do list that’s contributing to my sleepless nights.

So for the last few weeks I have spent a portion of my day reading through resumes and scheduling interviews. Resume reading tends to fall into two categories: boring and completely ridiculous. I had forgotten all those overly positive, yet extremely vague ways of describing what a great asset (hee hee, begins with ass) you would be to such-and-such organization. As I read resumes and divide them into three piles: good, possible, and no way in hell, it reminds me of when J and I first moved to Nashville. We had been stuffing dollar bills in a large Mason jar for months. I think we had something shy of $2,000 when we decided that was plenty of money to move.

We came up to Nashville for one night, stayed at the Holiday Inn on West End across from Centennial Park and signed a one year lease. Then we went back to Florence, rented a U-Haul and packed up our stuff. Our stuff consisted of a hodge podge of used furniture which had been given to us from friends and family. Our couch was actually forced on us by J's roommate since bong water had been split on it on more than one occasion and in those days there was no such thing as Febreeze.

Not everyone in our family was pleased with our decision to move off to a city where we knew no one and live together out of wedlock, but we were young, in love and willing to take a chance. We bought the Tennessean and went through the want ads daily. Our job requirements consisted of the following: nothing in the foodservice business, we were tired of working crazy hours and long weekends, must have benefits, and we didn't want to be working for a company that went against our values.

We did what all young twenty something’s do in order to become a member of the working class. We went to Men's Warehouse and bought Jason a suit for interviews. This is still the only suit he has every purchased and we have gotten our monies worth by all the weddings we have attended over the years. It is a bit snug around the waist now, but he still wears it.

We spent afternoons in job placement agencies being tested on our computer skills and spouting off to big haired women who looked like they were more concerned about their next smoke break then getting us a great gig, about our hopes and dreams and ideal work conditions. We were two people with Bachelor of Arts degrees with no idea what we wanted to do. We were sent on all kinds of temporary jobs.

We made some funny missteps along the way. One morning we headed out optimistic about a job possibility for J. We were sharing a car at the time so I went with him. As we were heading downtown I asked J to give me the address so I could check out the map while driving. (These truly were hard times. We didn't even have a computer so there was no Map quest. We had to read maps. Updating our resume or emailing it to a prospect meant using our local library. I know for the young today this is hard to imagine).

As J read off the address "PO Box...", I stopped and stared at him. Then with a raised eyebrow I said, "So our new job tactic is stalking a potential employer at the local post office when they come in to pick up the mail"? Oh these were funny times. We laughed ourselves silly and did what any other broke, new to a city, couple would do. We went to a local sushi restaurant for lunch and charged a meal we couldn't afford.

With all the bumps along the road and the constant insecurities then about how we were going to make it, we did. I look back at those times and remember how hungry we were to achieve something together. How even though the smallest things could break the bank, we were happy, crazy happy really and in some ways a lot less stressed than today.

As I am sitting across from potential employees during the interviews I am looking for those same traits I possessed ten years ago. The hungry to please look. The I really need a job look. The just give me a chance and you won't be sorry look. The this is the only suit I have, what will I wear for a second interview look.

They look back at me confidently and ask me what types of advancement is available, do we offer flexible work time, and what is the pay. Things have most definitely changed, but I wouldn't trade that time in my life for anything. We got to where we are today together and it still provides us with a chuckle every now and then. Some of the best memories truly rise up from some of the toughest times.

Hail to the new year

What a blur the last few weeks of December were. Getting everything accomplished on the never ending list of things that must be done didn't seem possible, but in the end Christmas cards were mailed, gifts were bought and wrapped and after all the flurry we did have time to enjoy the holidays.

The holidays were spent driving from one small town in Alabama to the next. Sleeping in uncomfortable beds and eating all kinds of things I shouldn't even speak of. When you are pregnant there are more painful signs that you have gotten off your normal diet than gaining a few extra pounds. Like swollen hands and feet and having to drink some powdered fiber substance until you feel like your stomach might explode in order to clean the pipes. But we did have a nice visit with our families, with a few moments of crazy thrown in just to spice things up.

For New Years we headed to Atlanta to visit my college roommates, their husbands and kids. Seeing your long time friends with their little ones is something that is difficult to explain, but once you are expecting a baby of your own it is even more eye opening. Things that I learned while spending two days in a house with toddlers: 1. No sleeping past 6:30. It doesn't matter that the room you are sleeping in is downstairs. Little ones are LOUD. 2. To parents of little ones, 6:30 isn't that early to begin with. On New Years Day we all found ourselves at the Georgia Aquarium at 8am. Keep in mind it takes 45 minutes to get to the aquarium from their house. But getting there had its advantages. There were no lines and we actually got to the enjoy the aquarium almost completely by ourselves.

So the holidays have passed. At least on the calendar, we still have a tree to take down and Christmas gifts to put up. Hopefully that will get done today. Our cats are going to miss sitting under the lit tree and pulling the ornaments off.

As for us, well we have officially entered the year in which roo will arrive. Now it seems there is another mad dash of preparation that must occur. Guest room that must be turned into a nursery, books that must be finished in preparation of the birth, and work which must be accomplished before taking time off. Overwhelming at times, most definitely, but at the same time I have never been one that accomplished anything without a deadline. And this deadline has by far the greatest reward at the end.

Yesterday J and I went to the doctor's office to have a ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. It had been almost 8 weeks since my last ultrasound. Because I have not felt roo moving around yet in the womb, it is reassuring and amazing to see the little one on a screen floating around inside of me.

We get to the office and Julie calls us back and says that she will be doing our ultrasound. Once I am undressed and laying on the table, Julie squeezes some warm gel-like substance onto my belly. Then she gets the magic wand out and starts rubbing it along my stomach. Immediately roo comes into view. There are moments when you are looking at the image of the baby on the screen when you know what you are looking at. Oh that is their profile, there goes a hand, there is the spine. But other times it looks like you are looking at some strange moving virus under a microscope.

After checking the four chambers of the heart, the length of the arms and legs, and the bladder (which took a while for Julie to find because apparently the baby had just peed so when the bladder is empty it is very difficult to see) Julie asked us the question we had been speculating about for the last 5 months.

Julie: Well do you have any ideas of what the baby might be?
Me: No not really.

I say this, but in all honesty, the only item I have purchased for roo is a pair of super cute striped baby legs that I was storing in my bedside table. When I had tried to explain this item to some friends of ours, they were convinced that I had purchased a pair of thigh high stockings for the little one. When I showed J the baby legs, his only response was that our son wouldn't be wearing leg warmers. Of course, I had not bought them for a son.

J's response to Julie: I think it's a boy.
Julie: Well you're right.

I struggle to get a better look at what is making Julie so sure that our den will soon be full of trains and trucks versus baby dolls.

Me: Are you sure?
Julie: Honey I'm so sure, if I'm wrong, I will personally come to your house and repaint your nursery.
Me: I won't forget you said that.

I get off the table, rub the now cold goop from my belly, and get dressed. J and I are both giddy, grinning from ear to ear thinking of what it will be like to have a son. As we leave the office Julie hands us a VHS tape and pictures from the ultrasound. Later at work as I am going through the pictures, I finally see what made Julie so sure of herself. One of the pictures, which has the word boy written on it, with an arrow pointing directly at his penis is clear as day.

When I call my Mom to tell her the news, she is ecstatic and we are both giggling silly when she says

Mom: Well we need more good men in the world.

My side of the family is mostly women. This will be new territory for us and we couldn't be happier.

2 + 1 = 3

Over the past few weeks I keep having the same dream.

It starts out normal enough. J and I are hanging around the house when the UPS truck stops at the end of the driveway. We watch as the UPS man unloads a LARGE wooden box and rolls it up the driveway. We go to the back door to see what it is and he asks for our signature, which he tells us is necessary when delivering a live animal.

Me: What kind of live animal?
UPS man, just as calm as can be: A kangaroo.
Me: A baby kangaroo? (Because in my dream for some reason this seems logical)
UPS man: No. A full grown kangaroo.

As he walks off down the driveway J and I stare at the box and back at each other. We struggle getting the box in the house because what else can you do when a kangaroo arrives on your doorstep? I take a peep in one of the air holes but it is too dark to see anything.

We decide to open the box to get a better look and see if this is just a big joke. Once we get the box open we see a full grown kangaroo looking back at us. Slowly the kangaroo steps out into our house. He or she, I do not know the animal that well yet, heads to a corner of the room where it calmly looks around.

Immediately all kinds of thoughts rush through my mind.
How will the kangaroo hop when we live in a ranch house with low ceilings?
What does a kangaroo eat?
When and how does it sleep?
I am quite certain our pet sitter, will draw the line at caring for two cats and a kangaroo.

With all these questions running through my head, I start to panic. And like most dreams when things get uncomfortable, I wake myself up.

So later at work I Google kangaroos and dreams. From the Dreammoods Dictionary, it says, “To see a kangaroo in your dreams, refers to maternal and paternal protection. You may be expressing your nurturing and mothering nature.”

Google never ceases to amaze and inform me. Of course there were other interpretations referencing a kangaroo showing up in your dreams, but they were not as applicable as that one. Dream interpretations are like reading your horoscope. Just pick the one that suits you.

I do hope I am expressing and exploring my nurturing nature, since we have a “roo” of our own on the way. I am 18 weeks pregnant and totally consumed with all sorts of questions of what the future holds.

Triple Word Score

Thanks to velocibadgergirl I have a fun meme that involves words. Which is great, because it reminds me of one of my favorite board games Scrabble.

If you want to play, list a word that describes you from each letter of the alphabet with as much or as little additional information as you wish. As velocibadgergirl says, keep it positive.

A Active

B Bleeding heart

C Compassionate

D Dancer (as a kid I took dance classes for many years)

E Excited

F Funny (at least I like to think so)

G Green thumb

H Hopeful for the future

I Impatient

J Jovial

K Kind

L (good) Listener

M Mischievous

N Nesting

O Overly excited

P Playful

Q Quick witted

R Restless

S Southerner

T Tolerant

U Understanding

V Vocal

W Water Sign (Cancer)

X eXtrovert

Y Yodeling (makes me laugh)

Z Zipper free (currently none of my pants have them)

I know some of these are a stretch...

We have friends coming for Sunday lunch. Chili, beer and cheesy appetizers while watching football. Happy Fall all and don't forget to set your clocks back.

Breasts, Not For Public Consumption

On Columbus Day J and I had the day off. (I would like to thank my place of employment for acknowledging "Bankers Holidays" though we are not a bank).

J knew I would be tempted to spend the bulk of the day running errands, since I am behind on everything domestic with all my recent work travels, but he put his foot down and said we had to do something fun. This is one of the reasons I married this man.

So we headed to the Nashville Zoo. The zoo is only a few minutes from our neighborhood and when the planes from the airport aren't flying over and it's quiet, we can hear the monkeys hooting and hollering from our backyard.

J and I have been going to the Nashville Zoo for years, so we have seen a lot of improvements. On our first visit eight or nine years ago, I was appalled when we got to the elephant habitat and kids could pay a fee to ride the elephants. The elephants looked so bored and defeated, as one kid after the next jumped on their back and they walked round and round a tiny metal contraption they were tied too. Natural habitat, my ass.

But now the elephants have an elephant sanctuary, with a large grassland to roam, a pond to swim in, and all three of them look much happier. No I am not an elephant whisperer, but they really do look content and at home.

One of my personal favorite animals to visit are the monkeys. And judging by the crowd, I am not the only one. There are three monkeys. I am not sure if they are male or female, but they are always moving. Swinging from one branch to the next and then looking at you like "what are you looking at". Hilarious.

There is one monkey that always has a yellow plastic duckie. No matter whether he is swinging through the trees or hanging upside down, he never drops the duck. He moves it around, holding it in his mouth, his feet, his hands, depending on which part he needs to get himself where he is going. It is obviously his favorite toy or security blanket and for some reason that is so damn touching to me.

There is also a meerkat habitat that is neat to check out. These animals have so much expression and are super playful, so it is always entertaining to see what they are up to.

On this particular day in October, it was still hotter than hell and about halfway through I started dreaming of a bowl of dippin dots or ice cream, so we found the nearest concession stand. Sitting there at tables full of kids with their parents or grandparents we eavesdropped on the conversations. Not being a parent myself I am probably not the best judge, but adults say some stupid shit to kids. No wonder kids look at them like they're idiots and the cycle continues.

At the table beside us, a little boy about 5 or 6 years old sat with his grandparents enjoying his cup of ice cream. When the little boy would look done eating the ice cream, the grandfather would chime in, "you know once that ice cream is in the garbage you can't get it back out"? The boy would look up at his grandmother, hoping she would chime in with "shut your trap, if he says he is done, he is done", but all he got was silence. So he would eat a few more bites, in hopes that would be good enough. And we wonder why kids are overweight today. Could be due to all the crotchety grandparents that want to make sure they get all the bang for their $3.00.

After we finished our ice cream we headed off. At some of the animal exhibits the zoo has built little enclosures where you can walk into a covered area with seating and ceiling fans, to view the animals through a glass window. When it is hot outside these places are really nice.

As J and I walked in the Cloudy Leopard enclosure there was a woman sitting on the bench in the far corner with a toddler and a newborn. My first thought was, wow this woman must be super woman to be out here by herself with a toddler and a brand new red faced baby. After further inspection of the situation, I realized we had interrupted her nursing and she was hastily trying to put away all the public breast feeding evidence.

I wanted to say "really go ahead we don't mind". America your uptight attitudes to public breast feeding is total bullshit. We use breasts to sell everything in this country. And I mean everything. But a woman in who is trying to feed her newborn out in public should be ashamed and quickly cover-up. I do not understand this Victorian mind-set and I never will.