So bear with me. I am going to tie up some loose ends and hopefully start anew.
The Patio
J finished the patio at the end of July, just days before his 35th b-day party. There is nothing like inviting all your friends over for a get-together to get our asses in gear. In all honesty, I don't think our house has been properly scrubbed since. Must have folks over soon.
So this is for you Mom. Here is a picture of the finished product I have been meaning to post for months. I must say J did a damn good job. I would actually hire him, if he didn't work for me for free.
We actually plan on enjoying many a meal out here once the temperatures are out of the 90's and the mosquitoes leave. Hmmm...maybe by December?
Do you see that plastic thingie sticking up in the yard around the edge of the patio, to the right of the table? Here's a closer look.
This is one of many non-working mole contraptions we have purchased. I fondly refer to this little dandy as the mole vibrator. Why you might ask? Well it is shaped like a super-duper torpedo, is battery operated and apparently turns those little buggers on. Big time. Each few seconds the torpedo makes an annoying, beeping noise that is supposed to travel through the ground, drive the moles crazy and send them running to the hills.
See all that raised dirt around the mole vibrator? That represents pure, X-rated, mole bliss. I kid you not, every night those moles come back for more. We might have the most sexually satisfied moles on our street.
Taxation Without Representation
I just got back from a business trip to DC. This is the second time I have been to our nations capital this year and I must say, DC I do not blame you for all the bullshit that has gone down over the last 7 years. I also appreciate your dry sense of humor, thus the "Taxation Without Representation" slogan on your license plates.
We attended a national conference for state restaurant association executives. Because the company I work for was a sponsor, we got the added perk of meeting the two keynote speakers, Ari Fleischer and Mike McCurry, before they addressed the audience.
Fleischer, was spokesperson for George Bush from 2001-2003. McCurry, was press secretary for Bill Clinton from 1995-1998. While we were waiting for them to arrive, I kept imagining what an uncomfortable scene I was about to witness. A cold greeting, a few biting remarks about each others party, a general uncomfortableness in the room. This was going to be good.
To provide you with a little political background, I am a registered Democrat. The first president I voted for was Bill Clinton and I still continue to think of him as one of our better leaders, regardless of the "inappropriate relations with a cigar" incident. I get hot under the collar when discussing politics and I can be very closed minded when it comes to the "other" party. So I expected the men who had each dedicated their professional lives to two very different ideologies, to coldly acknowledge each other.
Surprisingly, they both entered the room at the same time, were both equally friendly to the spectators, and shared some friendly banter. You could tell they shared a history and mutual respect for one another. Not at all what I imagined.
My first thought, if our current elected officials could show this much class and diplomacy, we might be able to actually get something done in Washington. Second, I need to work on my hard line attitude that all Republicans drive big-ass gas guzzling SUV's, with yellow ribbons and W stickers on the bumper, and throw big gulps out their windows.
The next day, we walked the halls with our fellow state restaurant association as they lobbied their representatives about the most pressing issues affecting their business. We arrived early for the first appointment, so we stood outside the office passing the time. About five minutes before our appointment time, the congressman darted out of his office and we were left to meet with his staff member Bruce, who didn't even have a business card.
On our second appointment, our congressman was not in the office when we arrived. His staff member emailed him, informed us he was leaving a committee meeting, and would be with us in a few minutes. While we were waiting, I admired his photos with Isaac Hayes, Bill Clinton, Sugar Ray Leonard, and a bunch of other famous folks that I can't remember. Did I mention that he was a Democrat?
When he arrived we went into his office. Congressmen work in tight quarters. His office reminded me of my college dorm room minus a bed and a mini-fridge. His bookshelves were packed with all kinds of personal items that I wanted to check out, but thought it would be rude to peruse his books instead of paying attention to the conversation.
The issues were discussed. He said he would have his staff member review the upcoming bills. Then he moved on to what all politicians are good at, discussing themselves. Apparently, he had been invited to Iraq. My first thought, those sneaky Republicans are trying to get rid of all our Democrats. Trying to interject something into the conversation I asked,
"What will you do in Iraq?"
Delivered with a straight face, he responded
"You know, drink, do drugs, have sex, lounge on the beach. Isn't that what everyone does in Iraq?"
I smirked, we all laughed, and I realized politicians really are human. They even have a sense of humor to boot.
