At least it wasn't my drivers license

Today at work we had to get new photos for our company badges. My office operates on a strict policy of enforcing work safety which consists of wearing a photo id badge at all times and locking your computer every time you leave your desk. I am not certain how this makes our work environment safer, but I do know it's one more thing I must rummage for each morning in my big-ass purse.

I have always wondered how secure our building really is when one of my friends at work had a picture of Pavarotti that he taped over his photo badge for months and our office security guards were none the wiser. Or how one woman on my floor could only have one badge, when she changes out her hair color and style by wearing a different wig, different days of the week? One day she has short red hair, the next it is long straight and black. I think the security guards know it's her, because she wears an obscene amount of perfume in order to cover the smell of cigarettes. Cigarettes and strong musky perfume at 9am mean I am always waiting for the next elevator. I apparently have little to no lung strength, as I cannot hold my breath for five floors.

So today I had to get my photo taken for my new badge that I will be stuck with until 2013, unless I am willing to pay $10 for a replacement. Being eight months pregnant, my face is a wee bit swollen, a bit more filled out than usual. I knew this wasn't going to be pretty.

As our security guard prints out and hands me my new badge, I grimace and realize for the next five years I am stuck with a picture where I look bloated, extremely tired, and 20 pounds overweight. The only thing I could think of? Thank God it wasn't a full body shot .